Farewell Old Friend

I have been pretty quiet over the past week. This is because life has done that rubbish thing where it throws you a curve ball every once in a while. I have had that worse thing in life happen, death. Fortunately I haven't had much of this happen so far in my life, having only ever been to two funerals. But on Wednesday morning something happened that truly threw my world upside down. 

My cat Tinker, who I have had since I was three years old died. I know many people will probably think 'Oh it's just a cat...' But I believe that animal bereavement is very real and exactly the same as the loss of a human loved one. Others might then think I'm comparing my love for my family as being the same as a love for a cat. Of course it's not the same, but after growing up with something and caring for it everyday, animals do indeed become part of your family. I see my cats as if they are my brothers or children. And I care for them the same amount as I care my for blood brothers and sisters.

 Tinker was one of my three cat children. As I said, I have grown up with him ever since my Dad brought him home one day in a cardboard box, with his head sticking out of the side. I remember that moment, clear as day. I was at play school at the time and fell in love with him instantly. Like all young children, my brother, sister and I all argued over what we were going to call him, then finally settled it by pulling a name out of a hat. Tinkerbell was the winner and it suited him perfectly, until we realised he was a boy...so we just shortened it a little! In time we got another cat to be a friend for Tinks, but sadly Scampi died in a freak tumble dryer accident.

Tommy

Then in 1998 we got Tommy from a cat sanctuary. Tommy and Tinker weren't always friends. Tinker was very dominant and would often take his frustration out on Tommy, when he didn't get his own way. He earned himself the nickname 'Killer Cat' by my parents who thought he was pretty evil. I guess he didn't like adults as he was always lovely to us children!

Toby.

Two years ago we took in another cat, as it had nowhere else to go. Toby was a really boisterous kitten, who the other two hated. So much so, that Tommy moved out into the shed, and Tinker would just attack him every time he came near. Somewhere over time though, the three settled down and became a happy family.

Although Tinker was at times a bully cat, he was also the sweetest most loving animal in the world. He was protective and always there when you were upset. Many times I have cried into his mushy stomach when things got tough. Anyone that knows me, knows first and foremost that my cats are my life. So Tinker dying really has affected the entire family. He was 18 years old, and very ill so we knew it was coming, but it still came as a total blow. I went to work that day and was miserable as sin. I then came home and we buried him in a friends garden. It sort of offered closure. I'm still trying to mentally block it out and pretend nothing has happened.

Apologise for the morbid post, it's not meant to be depressing, more of a blog of remembrance for my dear friend. I've never lost anyone or anything that has been in my life for so long, so it's pretty weird. I hope that this post reaches out to others maybe going through the same thing, or have done in the past.

Have any of you ever lost an animal? How did you feel? Do you see it as being on par with losing a family member?

xxx