Another short year.

It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm very physiological at best, but anniversary's/ birthdays and all that jazz, make me think even more. It sounds pretty weird but this is the first birthday in five years that I haven't been with a significant other. I'm fine being on my own, but it is very strange! Has made me think fondly and remember just how lovely people were. I used to get spoiled and told dead on 12, to have a lovely birthday. It's sweet romantic things like that, that I will remember forever, no matter how old I get.

I started 20 years of age, alive in the glory of 'safeness'. The year ended and everything had fallen apart a bit. So I thought, screw being miserable! Instead I took up burlesque lessons and learnt how to pole dance. I joined an amazing group of women to help start up my own business. I began blogging, tweeting and turned all seriously 'vintage'. I saw some amazing bands and met some seriously amazing people. I lost a dear friend, but realised what i want in life. I got promoted at work and learnt to like myself a little bit. I've started drawing and singing again which is awesome and I've had people go from those I work with, to seriously good friends.

I'm not really celebrating my birthday this year, due to total lack of plans, but I'm definitely going to make it my favourite age, and the age I become exactly who I want to be. I've got some pretty ace people around me and they make me very very happy. One day at a time. By the time I turn 22 I will have my life in order and will alive in the glory of life. This is my life, might as well start living it!

Crazy little thing called lust.

I've been away for forever. In that time I started to feel something I haven't felt for a while. I met a guy. I guy I instantly found some sort of connection with. This never happens to me. I never meet anyone! After some prying, I discovered this guy appears to like me as well, which is always ace to know! Saw him again, was definitely definitely something there. How amazing! Now my biggest flaw when it comes to relationships, is liking someone way too early than I should, I just never know how to come across! Because of this I tend to self sabotage, and go a bit mental, which I did in this case. I'm an over thinker, and worry too much about things happening, that haven't happened yet, nor will probably happen in the first place. It is not an attractive trait to have at all.

I think I scared Mr Romance. Some things were said, I became totally unsure of where I stood. We seem to be back on the right track now, which is amazing. As not only do I see the possibility of something great happening, if given the chance, although there are obvious obstacles in the way, but he is also an amazing person and friend, and I would absolutely hate for our relationship to be ruined.

I really feel like I have burned my chance, which sucks, so bad. I'm going to see him again soon, but what will it be like? Can we resume to the sort of coupley relationship we had? Or is it back to friendsville? I'm gonna play it how I see it, and definitely not make any moves. I've made it clear I like him, I knew he liked me, but am unsure now, do I just let him decide if he wants to make a move? I am so childish when it comes to relationships. I try not to be, but I cant stand all this Oohhing and Arrrring, I dislike the grey area. I want to know that I either am girlfriend material, or a girlfriend prospect, or whether there is no chance in hell. 

I'm not one for one night stands or anything like that. If I do anything of the intimate nature, it's pretty much with the hope and intention of one day being their something. I'm not expecting to fall in love or anything. that's just far too much pressure for something that might not even exist. Feelings are weird horrible little things aren't they?  I just wish I knew where I stood sometimes. Am I thought of just as a friend, or am i thought of as 'this could maybe become something more.' Only time will tell.

Sigghhhhh!

Topshop, I hate everything about you, so why do I love you?

Anyone who knows me has probably heard me rant about how much I hate Topshop. While most people love Topshop and think it's absolutely fantastic, it tends to fill me with a deep unknown anger.  I guess there is no real reason as to why I dislike it so much! I think the crux of it is the fact I hate the mass production, the fact it's so trend obsessed, so overpriced and the fact everyone tends to buy and wear the exact same outfit and end up looking like embarrassed lemmings.

Perhaps it's due to the fact that being a twin, I am very concerned with ending up looking like someone else. I think this is one of Topshops greatest downfalls, the fact that it just seems to create uninspired outfits and endless doppelgangers. After all of this it actually pains me to admit that I have recently bought quite a few things from ole Toppers. I am beginning to realise that I actually like quite a few of Topshops items and wish I had more money so I could actually afford their clothes! Yelp!

I'm not totally moving away from rockabilly though, as these items I have bought have a very Rockabilly Americana twist to them. I am Gypsy Davine, glamour puss! I will never be a Topshop poster girl!

 Now I'm over my confession, let me show you my goodies!

The Shorts. I have wanted both of these for a long time. When they went into the sale I had to snatch them up. I got these American ones for £3! and the stripped high waisted ones for £18. So two pairs of shorts for £21 when they easily would have cost me about £70 ish full retail price.

Dress and play suit. The yellow dress on the left I have also wanted for ages and ages, but wasn't going to pay £36 for it. In the end I got it for £20 in the sale. I knew it would go into the sale eventually, so every time I knew a markdown was coming I would gingerly check to see if my size was still there! The play suit on the right, I found in the sale for £20 and is a wonderful china blue colour with lattice detailing on the back. The bloomer shorts are the perfect length as not to show too much bottom! It looks really cute and flattering on and I just couldn't resist it! In total I saved about £32.

Lastly, I bought these cute little Capri jeans in an indigo blue. I'm still waiting upon their delivery so have no idea over whether or not I will actually be keeping them. The were £15 and I think they will make perfect little 1950-esque jeans. They would look adorable with a little sailor top! As I said they are meant to be Capri, but would probably be full length on me as I'm only tiny! I guess I could always turn them up though.

I think mixed with vintage and 1940's -50's reproduction clothing these items could work well. I could easily glam them up with my vintage glasses and perfectly styled hair. I need to get over my Topshop anger and accept that popular shops can work for the alternative girl! As it's all about the way you carry it off really isn't it? I must be one of the few girls in history who have a mild dislike for this shop haha!

Gypsy xxx

If music be the food of love, play on

May has been a pretty exciting month for me. I've hardly worked (Yay holiday time!) I've dyed some of my hair blue and I've bought some loverlayy new vintage things. As well as this,I finally got off my bum and applied for a job I REALLY REALLY want. From my last post, I think I got the point across that I was a bit well miserable actually. I had mentioned that I was looking for a new job, I applied to many, no avail, but then suddenly and randomly as if it was 'fate' I was informed of jobs going in the police. I am yet to hear anything yet, as to if I have been invited to the next stage of the process, but I am feeling pretty optimistic about it and hoping and praying lots!
As I mentioned before, I have hardly worked this month. I haven't been away anything nice or anything, but I have been going to lots of gigs! I love music, and I love going to shows and fortunately for me four bands I love decided to all tour in the space of 4 weeks! First off I went to see The Used at a signing in London. Despite waiting out in the pouring rain for hours and getting ill, it was totally worth it. they played a short acoustic set including 'Tunnel' 'Blue And Yellow and 'Lunacy Fringe.' Here's a video I found of Blue And Yellow. After the gig, we all met the guys which was rather amusing. Bert McCracken noticed I was a twin and suggested I start a career in porn! The next day I went to see them again, where they played a normal gig. It was amazing! A few days later I went to see those Canadian boys in Simple Plan. I love Simple Plan gigs as they are silly. I'm far too old to be singing along to songs about alien girlfriends! Pure cheese fest. Here's them singing Thank you. It was an insane gig and I ached for days afterwards!

This week was amazing as I went to see American band Say Anything. They haven't played a UK show in six years now so I was pretty stoked to be seeing them! I ended up in second row and it was beautiful! Sadly I couldn't find a decent video of them playing, but just in case you wondered what they sound like, they basically sounded exactly the same as this! Max is an incredible front man and is an amazing singer. They should be so much more famous then they are! And finally in the gig front I went to see William Control on Thursday night. I am an absolutely massive William Francis fan and love both Aiden and his side project William Control. I have seen him too many times to count, so had to go to this show too! William as usual absolutely slaughtered it. I couldn't find a video of him either at this actual gig, but here's a video of him at a gig I went to last year GO!

I'm going to stop being boring now and boring you with gig information ;) All my gigs are done and dusted now for a while! I am very excited though as I bought tickets for myself, my sister and her boyfriend to go see Derren Brown on Friday night. I hope he doesn't mess with my mind too much!

Gypsy x

Ex's and Ohs.

Been a long time since I have written a blog post. To be honest I had totally forgotten all about my online life, as I was far too busy in my real one. (Nothing fun I am sad to admit, but work work and more work!) It's been quite annoying really as it seems that everywhere I seem to go, I come face to face with people from my past. Whether it be old friends you haven't seen in a while, who suddenly seem to have had something new and exciting happen to them, or ex boyfriends you would rather not see again! Firstly, I am very happy to discover my best friend has now got an awesome new job working as a PA in London. She really does deserve this job after many years of working for free, and being a slave to retail. I am absolutely thrilled for her, but at the same time out comes the green eyed monster! Despite my jealousy though, I am determined not to let this get me down. I am instead seeing it as an opportunity to change the things I do not like in my life. So my first step is to find a new amazing job. For some bizarre reason, I really quite fancy the idea of getting a boring office job and secretly relish in the idea of wearing a suit to work everyday. Who knows why! It's not even really about earning more money, I just want to feel more successful.

Other than this dilemma I am getting rather annoyed at the growing amount of times I seem to be running into the significant ex recently.  I have no romantic feelings towards him anymore. None. Zilch. Zero. Yet it is getting a teeny weeny tiny bit ridiculous that in the last 12 months since we broke up, I hadn't bumped into him once despite living in the same town. And now suddenly, now it's officially past a year I seem to be seeing him all the time!. To make matters even more annoying, I seem to always see him with his girlfriend. As I said before, I have no feeling towards him, other than spite perhaps. After four years together he truly did turn into a first prize  douche. But I still would rather not bump into them every single week!. I'm just dreading the day I actually have to properly come face to face with them, in some sort of freak social accident .It will be awkward. Would she know who I was? It's a rather strange feeling to have. I would never get back together with him. In fact I would rather eat my own face. I just don't like to see him so well, happy! How selfish and evil does that sound? I wonder if he would be bothered if the shoe was on the other foot. I shall never know.

So, in the meantime I am going to start insanely enjoying my life. I'm going to try and go full speed ahead again on my business Twinset And Pearls ( I make and sell cool hair accessories) I'm going to make sure I look as awesome as I can each day, as life is simply too short to not look fabulous! I'm going to not look back at the past, only towards the future, so that when that dreadful day does come where there is no avoidance, I can hold my head up high and show just how much I'm better off without him! Get a new job, new fresh start, new breath of fresh air in life. Everything has become a bit too routine. Then hopefully, with all this new found positivity, I might meet a really lovely guy. Maybe. Perhaps. But I'm excited to wait and see! After all, "Your never gonna find it if your looking for it, won't come your way."

Amazing giveaway at Heydays Vintage Style!

So the fabulous Shona at Heydays Vintage Style is hosting her biggest giveaway yet in order to celebrate reaching over 1000 followers on twitter and over 500 followers on her blog. She is kindly giving away a £100 gift voucher to spend on anything in her shop! The voucher is valid for three months so you will have plenty of time to decide what to buy if your the lucky winner.  In order to have a chance to win ( or three in fact!) all you need to do is either leave her a comment on her blog, tweet about the giveaway or write a blog post about it. The only thing you need to do in your entries is state what you would buy if you won the gift voucher. Easy peasy! To read more about the terms and conditions of the giveaway, take a gander at this.

I've had a little think about what I would choose if I was lucky enough to win. It was hard! But after staring at the computer screen for ages I have come to the conclusion that it would have to be this!

I just think this Mary Dress is absolutely stunning. I just love the way it drapes around the bust area and really accentuates the chest without actually showing much skin at all! Now that's my kind of dress ;) Maximum effect without actually showing anything. It's sure to make a man go crazy and make you feel like a sex kitten inside! It's available in many different colours, but I just think this beautiful red really stands out and would suit my vampire skin and usual black hair nicely. I like to imagine that If I wore it I could look as stunning as Miss Jeni Yesterday does modelling it in this shot. The other thing I love about this dress is that by the looks of it, no matter what bust size you are, it's sure to make the most of your figure, adding curves to girls who are a little on the smaller bust side, and showcasing the assets of larger busted girls. The length is beautiful as well. And the sleeves, oh the sleeves!.... Basically I am just in love with this dress!

With the left over money, I'd probably put it towards this dress, or these trousers. Or both and have a massive Heyday haul =) Oh decisions decisions!

What would you buy if you won, I'd love to know.

Gypsy xxx

Farewell Old Friend

I have been pretty quiet over the past week. This is because life has done that rubbish thing where it throws you a curve ball every once in a while. I have had that worse thing in life happen, death. Fortunately I haven't had much of this happen so far in my life, having only ever been to two funerals. But on Wednesday morning something happened that truly threw my world upside down. 

My cat Tinker, who I have had since I was three years old died. I know many people will probably think 'Oh it's just a cat...' But I believe that animal bereavement is very real and exactly the same as the loss of a human loved one. Others might then think I'm comparing my love for my family as being the same as a love for a cat. Of course it's not the same, but after growing up with something and caring for it everyday, animals do indeed become part of your family. I see my cats as if they are my brothers or children. And I care for them the same amount as I care my for blood brothers and sisters.

 Tinker was one of my three cat children. As I said, I have grown up with him ever since my Dad brought him home one day in a cardboard box, with his head sticking out of the side. I remember that moment, clear as day. I was at play school at the time and fell in love with him instantly. Like all young children, my brother, sister and I all argued over what we were going to call him, then finally settled it by pulling a name out of a hat. Tinkerbell was the winner and it suited him perfectly, until we realised he was a boy...so we just shortened it a little! In time we got another cat to be a friend for Tinks, but sadly Scampi died in a freak tumble dryer accident.

Tommy

Then in 1998 we got Tommy from a cat sanctuary. Tommy and Tinker weren't always friends. Tinker was very dominant and would often take his frustration out on Tommy, when he didn't get his own way. He earned himself the nickname 'Killer Cat' by my parents who thought he was pretty evil. I guess he didn't like adults as he was always lovely to us children!

Toby.

Two years ago we took in another cat, as it had nowhere else to go. Toby was a really boisterous kitten, who the other two hated. So much so, that Tommy moved out into the shed, and Tinker would just attack him every time he came near. Somewhere over time though, the three settled down and became a happy family.

Although Tinker was at times a bully cat, he was also the sweetest most loving animal in the world. He was protective and always there when you were upset. Many times I have cried into his mushy stomach when things got tough. Anyone that knows me, knows first and foremost that my cats are my life. So Tinker dying really has affected the entire family. He was 18 years old, and very ill so we knew it was coming, but it still came as a total blow. I went to work that day and was miserable as sin. I then came home and we buried him in a friends garden. It sort of offered closure. I'm still trying to mentally block it out and pretend nothing has happened.

Apologise for the morbid post, it's not meant to be depressing, more of a blog of remembrance for my dear friend. I've never lost anyone or anything that has been in my life for so long, so it's pretty weird. I hope that this post reaches out to others maybe going through the same thing, or have done in the past.

Have any of you ever lost an animal? How did you feel? Do you see it as being on par with losing a family member?

xxx